Not Afraid of Bad News

I wrote these notes on October 15, 2023, in one sitting, reading through Psalm 112. Gretchen was still alive. She died seven weeks later.

Afterward I found the notes again. I cut them down to two lists and wrote them on the wall in the entryway, where I read them on the way out of the house and again on the way back in. They stayed up for months.

Attention

The man in Psalm 112 is paying attention to the Lord — enough to fear him, and enough to delight in what he says. Your attention shapes and forms your reality. He is clearly being shaped in his perspective and orientation to the world.

There are other things he could be paying attention to in this season. The wicked. The dark. The bad news.

Two kinds of fear

The psalm blesses one fear — Blessed is the man who fears the LORD — and then describes a man who is not afraid of bad news.

He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the LORD. His heart is steady; he will not be afraid.

— Psalm 112:7–8 (ESV)

So there is a good fear, and there are bad fears. In my notes I called the second list bad fears. On the wall I called them lies.

The bad fears

1. That our kids won’t be okay, that they won’t make it.
2. That nothing we do matters or will endure.
3. That there won’t be enough.
4. That rescue won’t be coming.
5. That doing the right thing won’t make a difference or matter.
6. That there won’t be a legacy.
7. That you will be forgotten.
8. That nothing will be left.
9. That evil and adversaries and suffering will win and have the last word.
10. That the fight is not worth fighting.

They come bundled together, which makes them complex to fight against.

Fear’s temptation

Fear and doubt create specific temptations. I did not want my fear and doubt to create really bad situations.

1. Fear tempts us to withhold and withdraw from others.
2. Fear tempts us to take it out on others, instead of being gracious and merciful.
3. Fear tempts us to harden ourselves, become transactional, and close ourselves off in our relationships.
4. Fear tempts us to abandon hope and become dark and cynical.
5. Fear tempts us to compromise our principles and do wrong.
6. Fear tempts us to pull up our anchor and set ourselves adrift on the open seas of circumstance.

Every one of them is a way of not trusting the Lord.

The righteous under pressure

What the psalm says about the man who is not afraid:

• Wealth and riches are in his house.
• Rescue and hope show up in the darkness.
• He is gracious, merciful, righteous.
• He deals generously and lends.
• He handles his business with justice.
• He is not afraid of bad news.
• His heart is firm and steady.
• He trusts in the Lord.
• He follows through until he sees victory over his enemies.
• He gives freely, and gives to the poor.

The legacy of the righteous

And what it says is left afterward:

• His kids are flourishing.
• He has an eternal legacy.
• He is remembered forever.
• He experiences ultimate victory.
• His prosperity and strength are celebrated.

The third sheet

There is a smaller note on that wall, written at a different time — the first Christmas.

She has it better. I miss her.

Gretchen loved being together, celebrating. That Christmas she was not there. The truth I had to hold on to and remind myself of was that in reality she has it better, in heaven. The reality is that I miss her. But she has it better. I do not need to feel guilty for the good days here on earth.

What helped

Journaling. Repeating the truth. Listening to sermons and books.

This is for anyone who has fear and doubt, no matter what the bad news is that is tempting them.